Dear John: Love, Savannah

Chick Flicks and date movies don't get much better than this latest film based on a book by treacly Nicholas Sparks. (So much better than
"The Notebook.")
Here, our star-crossed lovers, John, Channing Tatum, and Savannah, Amanda Seyfried, find all kinds of roadblocks in their path to happily ever after. (BTW, if he looks familiar think old Abercrombie and Fitch catalogs, while she was the singing/dancing queen in the movie "Mamma Mia!")
So, here they are falling in love in the aftermath of 9/11. If that's not bad enough, he's in the military on the verge of deployment. And if that's not bad enough, his dad, played to perfection by Richard Jenkins, is a rather strange dude. Maybe autism. And if that's not bad enough, Savannah is emotionally attached to a young boy, who is definitely autistic. Is there something in the water?
That's about all the Movie Slut will divulge about this wonderful weepy. Bring tissues.

From Paris with Love: Oo la yech!

Let's say you're a suicide bomber. A female suicide bomber. And let's say you have the perfect disguise to get you into an important international conference wearing your trusty blow-it-up vest. What kind of footwear would you wear to melt into the crowd? A. Sneakers. B. Sensible flats. C. Spindly stilettos. If you chose C, you might enjoy "From Paris with Love," a movie that makes as much sense as accessorizing a burqa with limousine shoes.
You might also want to see this nonsensical flick if you're an obsessed John Travolta fan. (Hey, nothing wrong with that.) Or a Jonathan Rhys Myers junkie. (He's pretty cool, too.) Though both stink like fetid foie gras in this buddy movie that's supposed to be a takeoff of James Bond's "From Russian with Love." Operative words: "supposed to be."
"From Paris with Love" is the exception to one of the Movie Slut's most revered rules: Never miss a flick with Paris in the title.
If you decide to skip this mess of a movie, she suggests renting one of these: "Paris After Dark," 1943; "American in Paris," 1951; "Paris Blues," 1961; "Paris — when it sizzles," 1964; "Paris, Texas," 1984; "Paris is Burning," 1990; "Paris,je t'aime," 2006."
A bientot.

Legion: Horror with your Hamburger

Uh oh! Remember what happened last time God was angry with mankind? (Thanks Noah.) Well, now he/she is mad again and has sent his angels to do the dirty work. Gabriel is on board. But kind-hearted Michael (Paul Bettany) hasn't given up on us.
The action takes place in a diner — owned by Dennis Quaid - located somewhere in the middle of nowhere. Michael must protect an eight-month-pregnant woman whose baby could be our only salvation.

So far so bad. And, happily, it gets worse.

Gabriel has transformed humans into zombie-esque creatures with itty-bitty pointy teeth and the ability to crawl on ceilings.

And it gets even worse.

So much worse, in fact, that "Legion" fits snuggly into one of the Movie Slut's fave niches: Movies that are so bad they're good. She loved every awful nanosecond of it.

When in Rome: Or New York

A poker chip rolls down the ramp at the Guggenheim in Manhattan. On and on it goes, past museum-goers, past installations, past Pissarros, Picassos and Kandinskys. Where will it stop? Beth doesn't know. She's the youngest curator at the museum, in charge of a major fund-raiser, and like the wayward chip, her life has careened out of control.
Her problems began in Rome when she ventured into the Fountain of Love. Now, love, in all its wacky permutations, has followed her back home.
Beth, played by the always winning Kristen Bell (TV's "Veronica Mars") is a workaholic New Yorker and the love-shy daughter of a Lothario Dad, the always hunky Don Johnson. Also making cameos are Anjelica Huston, as Beth's no-nonsense boss and Danny DeVito, as the Sausage King. (You'll just have to see the movie.) And not to forget Picasso's "Woman with Yellow Hair," which, as Beth explains, sums up her reasons for believing love is nothing more than fool's gold.
Somehow everything coalesces in this smart, funny, tender rom-com about the magic of art and love.
You'll also be happy to hear that Hollywood is kinder to the Guggenheim in this flick than it was last year in "The International" when the bad guys blew it all up.

Edge of Darkness: Not in my blog

The Movie Slut is indiscriminate. When it comes to flicks, she sees the wondrous, the so-so and the wickedly awful. But, even she has her standards. That's why she's passing on Mel Gibson's new movie, "Edge of Darkness." She will not see it. She will not review it. Here's why.
In 2004, the Movie Slut was disturbed by "The Passion of the Christ," in which Gibson espoused pre-Vatican II ideas, including Jewish culpability for the killing of Christ. She didn't like it, but she respected his right to express his beliefs. After all, he was a Fundamentalist Catholic and that's the party line.
That respect came to a dead end in 2006, when Gibson went on an anti-Semitic rant after being arrested for drunk driving.
Surely that's not behavior condoned by his religion or the first amendment.
Now, the more-Catholic-than-thou Gibson is getting a divorce amidst rumors of philandering. Divorce! Philandering! Finally, he's showing the world exactly who he is: A loathsome hypocritical bigot. The Movie Slut urges you to boycott this flick.

Extraordinary Measures: Magnificent Results

The Movie Slut was afraid EM was just another weepy malady-of-the-month movie. How wrong she was.
What we have here are two men: a cantankerous, eccentric research scientist with great taste in old rock music, (Harrison Ford playing to type); a desperate, warm & fuzzy, dad, who knows his way around corporate mumbo-jumbo (Brendan Fraser owning the role); and two adorable tykes suffering from a rare, degenerative condition that will take their lives within a year.Talk about a race against time!
The odd couple — who make Oscar and Felix look like they met on match.com — must put their differences aside and join forces to find, if not a cure, then at least a treatment for Pompe's disease, a form of muscular dystrophy that will soon attack the children's little hearts. As if that were not difficult enough, they also have to contend with bottom-line obsessed drug companies with no interest in hearts unless they can sell a drug for them.
Based on a non-fiction book, the movie seesaws smoothly from the heart-wrenching family drama to the corporate tussles, and in the process opens eyes about how drugs are researched, tested and marketed.

The Lovely Bones: Leave your brain at home

In the beginning of this loopy flick about a murdered teen living in the inbetween — a suburb of heaven — a mother calls out to her two daughters as they leave for school. "Suzie," she shouts, "put on your hat. You'll be cold." (Or something like that.) The younger sister doesn't have a hat, but mom isn't concerned. Why? Because only Suzie's hat figures in the rest of the movie, after she's murdered.
Hello Captain Obvious! "The Lovely Bones" is marred by such sloppy plotting and groaner dialog. But that doesn't mean the Movie Slut is trashing it.
Oh, no. Wonderful performances by Mark Wahlberg, dad; Rachel Weisz, mom; Stanley Tucci, weird neighbor who — duh! — nobody suspects; Susan Sarandon, drunk grandma; and especially Saoirse Ronan, Suzie — of "Atonement" fame — make this movie worth seeing.
Just watch it with your heart and switch your brain to pause.