Sunday, July 4, 2010

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse: Unreality bites

And you think you had it bad in high school. Imagine poor Bella. At Twilight High (or whatever it's called), not only does she have to deal with jocks, geeks and goths, but there are also the vampyres and werewolfs. In fact, she is torn between two lovers, Edward the vampyre — you can tell by his uber-pallor — and Jacob, the mega-muscled werewolf.
Oh, the choices a gal has to make.
This is the third installment of the big screen saga, based on the fiercely popular books, but — full disclosure — the first for the Movie Slut. Here's what she thinks.
Great movie for teenage girls, judging from the giggly audience.
Surprising lavish with lush gorgeous scenery.
Fine acting by Kristen Stewart as Bella.
Laughable acting by heartthrob Robert Pattinson as Edward and Taylor Lauter as his wofian rival.
And then there's clueless dad, who somehow doesn't notice Edward's corpse-like complexion and is tickled happy when Bella announces, "I'm still a virgin."
Hey Dad, Bella's sex life is the least of your problems.

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