Battleship: Extremely Loud & Delightfully Dumb

First you must know about Goldilocks planets. They're located at a distance from their sun at which life is possibile.

Then you much know about summer blockbuster films. They're fiery, bombastic and appeal to the heart, not the head.

Battleship is a quintessential summer blockbuster, a consummate popcorn cruncher, a huge, booming, wonderful 131-minutes of mindless action.

It seems Earth is being invaded by reptilian aliens from Planet G, who hide their weaknesses under clunky suits of heavy metal. (Which brings us to the insanely loud and amazingly pumping soundtrack that includes music by Rage Against the Machine. And well it should.)

The movie stars Taylor Kitsch, as a flunky sailor, who saves our planet and gets the girl. Singer  Rihanna, in her first movie role, is believable enough behind a humongous battleship gun. And then there's Liam Neesom, who elevates any flick he deigns to be in, even the most mindless summer blockbusters.