Ted: Won't You Be My Teddy Bear

Trailers and critics will have you believing this movie about a man and his childhood plush toy is a one trick teddy bear.

It's more like three or four tricks.

Sure Ted (left) is the kind of potty-mouthed, pot-smoking "best friend" who keeps our Peter Pan of a protagonist (right) from moving on with his life. But, there's more to this flick than that.

Narrated and spun out in a 1950s rom-com style, the movie serves as a spoof of the old Doris Day/Rock Hudson romances. And when the music isn't 1980s (Hootie & the Blowfish, Tiffany) the period in which the action takes place, it echoes the decade three years earlier as well.

Ted also gets a boost from excellent performances by Mark Wahlberg, as John, and his long suffering girlfriend (Mila Kunis), who must compete with the "best friend" her guy can't seem to move past. Enough laughs, here, if you're standards are as low as the Movie Slut's.

People Like Us: Make that the Best of Us

The less you know about this touching movie before you see it, the better. So, if you happen to be in a theater when the trailer is shown, please close your eyes, place a finger in each ear and mutter, "La, la, la" under your breath.

This is a boy-meets-girl flick, but unlike any you've seen before. It's also a film about family, the strength and resilience of family bonds. And that's all the Movie Slut is going to say about that.

OK, one more fact. You might want to see this movie just because it doesn't fit the hackneyed script with the de rigueur ending that's been played out ad nauseum. (Now that's a mouth full.)

Savages: Sex, Drugs, Drugs & More Drugs.

Got a hankering to see savages? Then tune in to CNN's coverage of the Syrian uprising. It's brutal, authentic and free.

Oliver Stones "Savages," on the other hand, is a gratuitous blood-and-gore-fest. Which is too bad, because it seems, the movie, based on a book of the same name, could have been a pretty smart film.

The Movie Slut read that it was also supposed to be funny. The wit escaped her, too, especially when characters were spouting blood, loosing their lunch or burning to a crisp.

There's a moment in this unnecessary flick when we learn that even the best of us can become savages given a certain set of circumstances. Tell us something new, Oliver. Anyone who's loved knows about that vulnerability.

To Rome With Love: Lust and Cynicism

Woody Allen aficionados will thoroughly enjoy his new antipasti of a movie. It serves up a little of this and a little of that all on a single plate with a common theme, like marinara sauce, drizzled over the selections.

Since To Rome, which stars Allen and a superlative cast, is a rom-com, the theme is obvious.

But Allen's new movie is also like a lemon meringue pie: Frothy and sweet at first bit, but dense and tart underneath.

Allen dwells on one of his favored themes —celebrity —and reaches the cynical conclusion paraphrased here. Life is shabby and it sucks, but is a lot less crummy if you're a celebrity.

Most of the characters are swept into the cult of celebrity and willing to forsake the ones they love for a twirl with fame. In this way To Rome is a lot like a cup of espresso: dark and bitter.

The Amazing Spider-Man: Arachnidaliscious

When Marvel Comics introduced the now-famous Web-Crawler in 1962, he captured our hearts and heads, not only for his perennial do-gooder super-powers, but also for his compelling back story.

Abandoned by his mother and father, bullied by his high school classmates, invisible to the girl he like-likes, Spidey needs our protection and love. Until...

This new movie is the fourth for the Web-Slinger. One, 2002, two, 2004, and three 2007, starred a kinda goofy Tobey Maguire as the vigilante Web-Head. Now, Andrew Garfield takes over the role.

 Physically, he doesn't have the clueless, innocent look Maguire has mastered, but movie-goers will soon forget Tobey, thanks to a script that takes us back to the story's irrisistible beginning and keeps the camera focused on Spidey, the boy, as well as The Amazing Spider-Man.

Seeking A Friend For The End Of The World

"Seeking" didn't have to be the most profound movie to ever address armageddon. If only it were a tad more thoughtful.

The above photo may appear to be more about a road trip than facing imminent death, because, basically, that's what this flick is. It's also a uber-predictable rom-com. (We are told about The End right at the beginning. OK, just kidding.)

Try out this new title:

 Harry and Sally Hit the Road in Search of the Meaning of Life and Learn that All We Need Is Love.

"Seeking" gets off to a promising start. Dodge, Steve Carell, a perennially dorky depressive, finally has something to really be down about. And he's not going to face The End as others are: Eating to abandon because those extra 50 pounds don't matter now; practicing unsafe sex because the ultimate cure to venereal disease is on its way in the form of a giant asteroid.

 Looting and rioting aren't his thing either.

So what to do with his final three weeks?

He could find the "love of his life" (Keira Knightly) and a fluffy best friend, a pooch called Sorry.

How ironic, we're to believe, that when Dodge finally finds true love it's the end of the world.

The good news: No sequel to this one.

Lola Versus: A Comedy Sans Laughs

Shortly after this photo is taken, Lola (the one on her back) is dumped by what's his name, and this movie lurches forward with our damsel in distress alternately confused, depressed, drunk, drugged and nauseatingly self-obsessed. Her 29th birthday is looming and, OMG, the wedding is off!

The last time the Movie Slut saw Greta Gerwig, she was in a flick called  Damsels in Distress in which she was a college girl out to change the world. Another comedy without laughs. Now, she risks being typecast as Unfunny Girl.

In this film, she's grown up, at least on paper. She's now getting her Ph.D and writing a thesis on  silence in literature. Ha? Ha?

Since the Movie Slut is the Movie Slut, she feels compelled to find something positive about this multi-multiplex disappointment. Suffice it to say that the Manhattan filmography was artful and Lola's wardrobe, while uninspiring, was realistic. It is the kind of blah pseudo-fashion that's overtaken our malls. 

Yech!